You appeared in a dream last night
And I relived the way I felt
Last time I saw you:
     Ecstatic...but mildly embarrassed.

You were always so flamboyant -
     flaming, even.
I never minded, though,
Until that last meeting.

You were too loose with your words
     -and your appearance
You seemed thinner
                  ...dirtier
                  ...lost

And in the dream,
I wanted you to hug me,
But when you did,
I looked around to see who was watching.

And then you were gone.
I looked everywhere for you -
     even shouted your name...
But you were gone.

I wanted to cry as I finally stepped outside
     into the cool darkness
And spotted my other friends
huddled in a cloud of smoke.